9/13/25

 Feeling absolutely rotten lately.

I'm past my breaking point with school, and one project is to blame. I feel trapped and overwhelmed at the prospect of continuing to work on it...but I don't have much of a choice.

As such, I have no motivation to coordinate fun outfits or do bold makeup. Gal was always my armor to shield me from the awful world around me, but most of the light inside me has been sucked out for the moment. 

I'll try to dress up pretty, because it really does make me feel better, but I'm also frustrated with my body and its limitations when it comes to Japanese fashion. 

I tried on lots of pretty tops the other day, and almost cried in the dressing room; nothing buttons, nothing fits, nothing flatters. All I want to do lately is hide away in big sweaters and boxy pants.

I did impulsively buy this Juicy tracksuit top from Depop. I realized after purchasing that it is a kid's size...so I will probably keep it in the package for awhile before I try it on, out of fear of what I will look like with it on.

I'm extremely busy with work and school, so all of my chores have fallen to the wayside. My room is a dump, most of my clothes are dirty, I'm not cooking for myself...its all I can do right now is take care of me and look after my own best interests, even if that means being easy on myself.